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How a married person can fall ‘out of love’ with their spouse

On Behalf of | Sep 30, 2022 | Divorce

Every divorce happens for different reasons. Infidelity is a big cause of divorce in Texas. So are things like money problems, addiction, abandonment and domestic violence. But many times, when someone decides to end their marriage, they cannot point to any one conflict or betrayal that led them to that choice. They just don’t love their husband or wife anymore.

Three steps to losing love

We’ve all been in relationships where loved ended. Just as we can fall in love, it is possible to fall out of love later on. Experts say this phenomenon has three phases:

  • Disappointment or disillusionment with the relationship
  • Becoming disaffected with the partner
  • Apathy and indifference toward the partner

In this context, “disaffected” means losing the emotional attachment you had with your spouse. This can happen because a conflict or issue that caused disillusionment goes unaddressed, or the spouse is unable or unwilling to make changes to help restore affection. Growing frustration and anger about the issues that caused the disillusionment can take over your feelings and overshadow any positive feelings about your spouse that you still have. You could lose interest in physical intimacy or even being near your spouse.

If your spouse does not make the necessary changes, the anger of disaffection can turn into apathy. You no longer expect things to get better, so you lose your remaining love for your spouse disappears. Eventually, you could see divorce is the only option.

The no-fault divorce revolution

Thanks to no-fault divorce, you do not have to prove that your spouse caused your relationship to end. This makes the process much more efficient than it was decades ago.